Opening shot
| Western democracy is a fraud whose true purpose is to deny the masses access to truly fine cheese, particularly goat cheese, and keep them sated on processed gloop, such as Velveeta. The entire edifice of falsity de- serves to be overthrown, by force if neces- sary, and replaced with a world order of my own cre- ation, a fromage-based form of government I dub "Cheesetopia." No, I don't really be- lieve that. But I have the right to say it -- for the moment -- so I thought I would, as way of introduc- ing the frightening new anti-terrorism laws being proposed in Britain in the wake of the London bomb- ings. They would outlaw "indirect incitement" to terrorist acts, including "attacking the values of the West," as I do in my brie-scented rant above. I understand that Britain is not the United States -- like other European na- tions, they lack a First Amendment or, to quote a chilling line in this week's Economist, "Civil liberties are a minority interest in Britain.'' I guess so. But not here. Not yet. So now is the time to get our priorities straight, before such attacks break out in this country, as they likely will, and emotion over- whelms reason. Look to the past as a guide, and under- stand that, in almost every crisis, our reaction to a threat undercut our system of government in a way the menace never could. Lincoln's suspending of habeas corpus during the Civil War tore at our lib- erty far more than the Confederate army. During World War I, the kaiser never scratched our Constitution, but our deporting "radi- cals'' did. The Japanese never set foot on American soil -- they didn't have to: We put our own citizens into internment camps, almost as their proxy. In the 1950s, we slid toward Soviet-style suppression in the name of combatting the Soviets. By the time fear climbs into the driver's seat -- the goal of terrorism, by the way -- it's too late. Like a mountaineer checking essential gear before a tough climb, we need to inventory our basic freedoms and remind ourselves what we're all about. De- fending Western values by constricting free speech is a contradiction, since free speech is the fundamental Western value, from which all our progress flows. Unless mil- lions are allowed to reject the current thinking and be wrong, there will not be a person who rejects the common wisdom |
and is right. A free society endangers us, without doubt. It is our Achilles Heel, and our glory. It is the risk we take. Rough waters may be ahead. We should prepare ourselves, now, so in the passion of the moment, we remember to always ask ourselves: Did so many Americans give up their lives to save our freedom so that we could give up our freedom to save our lives? Arise and tie your shoes slowly!This is the thought ex- periment I've been mulling over today: say, as opposed to my cheese fan- tasy, that you sincerely be- lieve that airport security is a facade, a way to dis- tract Americans from true dangers and get them used to emptying out their pockets on command. Say you believe that the secu- rity of the nation is not helped in any way com- mensurate with the loss of liberty to those unfortu- nate enough to travel. Say you thought kicking off your shoes when ordered is sheeplike, un-American. Not extreme thoughts by any means. They prob- ably cross the minds of most Americans. Now say you went a step further. Not only do you broadcast those beliefs, as I have just done. But you urge people to act on them by slowing down the sys- tem as much as possible. Place your belongings on the conveyer slowly. Lard your suitcase with all sorts of hidden metal scrap that will have to be laboriously detected and removed. De- mand the full cavity search. Suppose some radicals began acting on that -- I'm surprised they haven't -- and airports became clogged with protesters gumming up the works. Should those people be arrested, and for what? Taking off their shoes slowly? Un- dermining American security? Treason? I don't know the answer. I realize that we are the most free nation on Earth, and that the menace of terror is very real. But we need to ask ourselves these questions, and remember that Islamic terror can take innocent lives, but it can never harm our American system, not the way that we can harm it ourselves. |