In the Beginning was The Plan And the Assumptions were without form, And the workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them, And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them, And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him, And the President looked upon The Plan, This is How Sh*t Happens.
And then came the Assumptions.
and the Plan was completely without substance,
and the darkness was upon the face of the workers
as they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of sh*t, and it stinketh."
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
such that none may abideby it."
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide it's strength."
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and is very strong."
"It promotes growth, and is very powerful."
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
Company, and in these areas in particular."
and saw that it was good,
and The Plan became Policy.
Taoism: Sh*t happens
Hinduism: This sh*t
happened before
Confucianism: Confucius
say: sh*t happens
Buddhism: It is only
an illusion of sh*t happening
Zen: What is the sound
of sh*t happening
Islam: If sh*t happens,
it is the will of Allah
Jehovah's Witnesses:
Knock,knock:'Sh*t happens.'
Atheism: There is no
such thing as sh*t
Agnosticism: Maybe sh*t
happens, and maybe it doesn't
Protestantism: Sh*t
won't happen to me if I work harder
Catholicism: If sh*t
happens, I deserve it
Judaism: Why does sh*t
always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send
money or sh*t will happen to you
Rastafarian: Smoke that
sh*t