In the Beginning was
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were
and Plan was completely without substance,
and the darkness was upon the face of the workers
as they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of sh*t, and it stinketh."
And the workers went
unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went
unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went
unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide it's strength."
And the Directors spoke
amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and is very strong."
And the Directors went
unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth, and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents
went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
Company, and in these areas in particular."
And the President looked
upon The Plan,
and saw that it was good,
and The Plan became Policy.
This is How Sh*t Happens.
Taoism: Sh*t happens
Hinduism: This sh*t happened before
Confucianism: Confucius say: sh*t happens
Buddhism: It is only an illusion of sh*t happening
Zen: What is the sound of sh*t happening
Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock,knock:'Sh*t happens.'
Atheism: There is no such thing as sh*t
Agnosticism: Maybe sh*t happens, and maybe it doesn't
Protestantism: Sh*t won't happen to me if I work harder
Catholicism: If sh*t happens, I deserve it
Judaism: Why does sh*t always happen to me?
Televangelism: Send money or sh*t will happen to you
Rastafarian: Smoke that sh*t